If you’re struggling with anxiety and aren’t sure how to manage it, you’re in the right place! As a clinical psychologist who regularly works with clients dealing with anxiety, I know that having an understanding of what our brains are doing during anxiety can have a huge impact on our ability to manage anxiety overall, and really, to make it feel less scary and overwhelming.
One way I like to explain this is with two kinds of anxiety: Content Anxiety and Process Anxiety. These aren’t official diagnoses or clinical categories. They’re a practical way of thinking about worry that many of my clients find helpful, and real life is often a mix of both.
Content Anxiety
First, let’s talk about Content Anxiety. This is the kind of anxiety that is generally tied to a specific problem or situation, and mostly resolves when the situation resolves. Let’s say you have a job interview on Tuesday at 1pm. You might be understandably anxious about it leading up to the interview. But by the time it’s over on Tuesday afternoon, probably a lot of that anxiety will have resolved. That’s because the interview is a specific event at a specific time. Once it’s over, you might be thinking about next steps, or wondering how you performed. But chances are, you’re no longer wondering things like “what are they going to ask me?” “Am I going to be prepared enough?” because now, you have the answers to those questions.
We all deal with Content Anxiety at times. And generally, Content Anxiety doesn’t make us worry long-term. We have a problem, we deal with it, it resolves, and the anxiety subsides.
Process Anxiety
So then, what is Process Anxiety? Process Anxiety is not connected to a specific event at a specific time. It’s more vague, even existential. Think about some of the major issues going on in the United States and around the world. Ongoing effects of war, inflation and rising prices, climate change and natural disasters, uncertainty in the economy and housing market, ongoing political tensions… so many. Do we have a specific date of when any of these things will end? Nope. Do we even know exactly when some of these issues started? No, not really. Our worries about these things are prime examples of Process Anxiety.
When we’re worried about things, and we don’t know when they’re going to happen, or perhaps when they’re going to end, there’s not really a problem we can solve here, is there? It’s not like Content Anxiety, where you have a concrete problem or situation that can be resolved. Many of the solutions to these problems are in the future, where we can’t get to them. Other times, what we’re worried about is actually more like regret or ruminating. In this case, the problem is also unreachable, because now it’s in the past. And a lot of this stuff is completely out of our control.
This is why anxiety often feels really overwhelming and never-ending. Because we can’t control the outcomes here, we end up in this spiral of anxiety that has nowhere to go. That doesn’t mean the things you’re worried about aren’t real. Many of them are real and serious, and some call for practical action, like making a plan, getting information, or reaching out for help. But when worry keeps circling things you can’t solve right now, the endless worrying itself becomes part of the problem, and how you respond to the anxiety is something you can work with.
Using RAIN to Address Process Anxiety
One of my favorite tips for beginning to manage anxiety is a mindfulness practice called RAIN, popularized by meditation teacher Tara Brach. RAIN stands for:
- R – recognize
- A – allow
- I – investigate
- N – nurture
As soon as you realize that what you’re experiencing is Process Anxiety, and it’s time to address it, you’ve accomplished the R!
The A is probably the simplest, and yet most difficult, part of RAIN. Allow means exactly what it sounds like. You have to allow the anxiety to be there. Sometimes, anxiety tricks us into thinking that it will completely consume us if we don’t push it away. But this isn’t true! Anxiety is a biological response in your body that is often connected to emotions like worry. The anxiousness can be frustrating and unpleasant, but it can also just be there without controlling you.
Even if you experience the worst case scenario, a panic attack. Panic attacks often lead the individual to feel as if they are dying! Luckily, with anxiety, what goes up must come down. The physical feelings of panic will start to go down eventually, usually within minutes. It’s kind of like Anxiety Gravity. (If you have chest pain or physical symptoms that haven’t been checked by a medical provider, or that feel different from your usual anxiety, get medical care first.)
Once you’ve allowed yourself to sit with the anxiety and let it gradually start to have less control over you, you’re ready to move onto the I.
The I for Investigate is when we start to think about where the anxiety is really coming from. Have you ever gotten incredibly anxious over something you know isn’t that bad, but you just can’t seem to stop it? That’s actually pretty common, and it’s exactly why we go through the Investigate step. If you know the surface level thing isn’t that bad, and yet here you are with anxiety, it’s probably because the surface level thing isn’t the real thing.
Let’s say that you’re anxious because you texted your partner about something and you received the dreaded response….. “k.” And now your mind is spiraling all over the place… is he mad at me? Is he ok? Maybe he’s really busy right now… or maybe he’s ignoring me on purpose. Maybe he is mad at me. Why is he mad? What did I do wrong? Oh no…what if he’s at someone’s house cheating on me? Or maybe he’s getting fired from his job and we won’t be able to pay rent next month. Or maybe …. Or maybe….
Right? Phew, that escalated quickly. But so many of us have been there. Imagine that you have given yourself time to allow this anxiety, and now you’re ready to investigate this anxiety response.
First, is his confirmation response of “k” actually inappropriate at face value? Probably not. It’s not actually a big deal. Ok, let’s start there. When you hear that response, “k,” what’s really the fear underneath that? Using the example above, I might guess it’s about either being ignored, or a deeper fear of something being very wrong. Go another layer deeper. Have there been times in your life when you experienced being ignored or abandoned in a very legitimate way? If so, that was probably incredibly painful. Same thing if you’ve been cheated on before, or you’ve been thrown into a financial crisis before, or you’ve had horrible, relationship-ending fights before. All of those things are legitimately terrible…
And, my friend, none of them are necessarily what is happening right now. In this example, there’s no evidence for any of that stuff yet. This is Process Anxiety at work. (If there are real warning signs in a relationship, such as threats, control, or harm, those deserve to be taken seriously and talked through with someone you trust.)
Investigate is about recognizing what you’re truly anxious about (one of those terrible scenarios), so that you can give yourself some compassion, rather than react as if one of those terrible things is what is actually happening (which could very well make the situation worse).
The N, for Nurture, is about taking care of yourself. What could you do, in this moment, to soothe your body and mind? Nurture is all about finding simple coping skills to help yourself relax and feel a little bit better.
Nurture doesn’t necessarily mean you’re trying to solve the content problem. In Process Anxiety, there may be nothing to solve right now, and caring for yourself through the anxiety is something you do have control over. If there is a real problem to address, you’ll be in a calmer place to address it.
Some of my favorite nurturing skills are using my 5 senses with things that are pleasant, taking a hot bath, doing some deep breathing, going for a walk (or really any intentional movement), or calling a friend. These things can be very simple. The only goal is to help your body feel a little better.
Next Steps
If it sounds like RAIN could be helpful for you, I’d encourage you to try it the next time you notice Process Anxiety! Sometimes, just understanding the difference between Content and Process Anxiety can really help the anxiety feel more manageable. We have more resources on Anxiety here if you’d like to learn more.
And if you realize that you’d like to work on anxiety more thoroughly, therapy could be a great next step. The psychologists at Telegraph Psychology Collective (formerly North Berkeley Counseling Collective) are independently licensed therapists who treat anxiety with mindfulness and CBT. Therapists in the collective offer CBT in person in Berkeley and Kensington, and online in California, New York, Hawaii, Virginia, and Florida.